John Mack and ramblings about strangeness in my life

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"This is an outreach program from the cosmos to the consciously impaired." -John Mack

"Touched: The Extreme Experience Research of Dr. John Mack" is a movie documentary that I watched this morning, it brought all this up for me. I highly recommend it.

I still wake up with injuries - weird marks and aches and pains that happened while I lay sleeping in my bed at night. Do I remember a damned thing? No. It is just as well, because in my younger days when my dreams kept me in a half waking state all night and I would wake up in the morning totally exhausted and because I had young children, I put a 'stop-dreaming' injunction in my brain so I could sleep. I have not been able to lift that injunction, and only rarely do my dreams bleed through to morning memory. When they do, I am always arguing a point in front of people, much like a lawyer. If there had been or was some resolution, I might not have stopped the dreaming, but there never was. It was like continuously debating to deaf ears. So it is just as well. This blog may be a symptom of that.

This morning I awoke to find a bruise on the outer upper corner along the orbit of my eye, just under the arch of my left eyebrow. I have scoop marks, they eventually fill in, I have times that I waken and the exhaustion is so deep that it makes even me wonder what the heck went on while I slept. There are times when I go to sleep with a problem - with the intension that I would like to be healed by morning and that also happens.

Lately I have been really asking how I just know what I know - how I can even say what I say and the provenance of such information. I have wondered if I am just a mind controlled little robot spouting the party line for some hooligan somewhere. Yes, I have studied consciousness information all my life and with everything I have come across - there is a sense of familiarity. They also all say basically the same thing. So who knows? Maybe it went in my brain and re-organized and is now coming out….

If you look at the symptomology list associated with abducted people - I fit the bill nicely. I have had the missing pregnancies, the icky-weird feeling of waking and feeling strange… But my poor consciousness is either too weak or too old to break through to any actual memory of what went on behind my metaphorical back. That is singularly frustrating in a myriad of ways. Trust me.

I speak out a lot and I know people just think I'm nuts. I have no story to back up what I am saying, no experience terrifying or otherwise and I've only ever seen a nuts and bolts craft two or three times in my life. But that is probably because I would much rather talk to the passengers than see the craft.

Now that is something I do have many experiences of.

Recently, about two years ago, I know I met in the flesh one of my alien hybrid children. I'm almost certain. ( it's back in the blog somewhere.) I have had passing contact with people who are alien (off planet) and no, I don't mean break-away - I mean from other planets. Can I prove that? No. How do I know? When it happens you are allowed to know, you just do, but in my case it has always been a gift, and I have no wish to counter these people and come right out and ask. It has been positive, never negative and I always get the feeling that they are pleased that there are people who are awake enough to notice. The whole point of that game is to notice, and let it be. Although one day…. But everybody now is way too busy trying to keep the world from exploding, at least the ones I'd like to talk to and it will have to wait.

The above quote from John Mack is all too brilliant and true. We are consciously impaired. VERY consciously impaired. To the rest of the cosmos we are like people we see here who have been in a terrible accident and cannot reach out of their body anymore to communicate, but are none the less still in there and still very aware. - like Stephen Hawking. A brilliant mind trapped in a minimally functioning body.

I wish with all my heart that one day my damned mind could actually expand enough - come on line enough to have contact. Right now, because of the dire situation here on this planet, I am practicing sovereignty and to have uninvited contact would be a breach of my free will. But should I open to contact, there is no way to be assured that who talks to me is of a positive nature, because my discernment abilities and my spiritual mind are not developed enough. So I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. But I know good people from off planet exist, because the contacts that I can remember have all been good ones, and these are the people I would love to get to know. Someday, after the outreach program has helped a little (or a lot), after the 1000 year bullshit war being fought here is over and we then are not so consciously impaired, someday when we can wrap our heads around being multidimensional beings ourselves, sigh, someday day - as the fairytale goes…

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